Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Our Truest Life is When We are in Dreams Awake

As an introvert, (my warmth and people skills are often mistaken for extroversion), I find that whether I want to or not, when it's quiet and I've been overly stimulated for long stretches of time without enough of a break, my brain pretty much insists that I shut down.  For me that means little contact with the outside world, no computer, no writing, etc.  In these moments, I focus all of my attention on no-brainer activities and meditation.

I can live on moments of adrenaline, for a while, when I need to.  I can keep working past my comfort zone, even when the situation I am in is not overly stressful in the grander scheme of things. But there comes a moment when it is as if that fun, creative, engaged part of my brain says, "Nope, you have got to rest or there won't be anymore output."  At this point I'm useless.  I know I need to get back into adrenaline mode, but I'm mentally exhausted. 

I had hermit moments today after a week of non-stop work.  I did nothing special.  I just spent the day doing boring household things that required little or no thought.  I did the mindless mechanical tasks that I don't normally do when I'm feeling more like my normal, focused, productive self. 

Now, at the end of the day, I already feel a multitude of new ideas welling up inside my brain.  Sometimes, all it takes is a short break to rejuvenate my thoughts.  My desire to engage is coming back.  Had I skipped today and forced the issue, I would have still had a day like this sometime in the near future, like it or not.  

I think for us introverted types, being a hermit is a vital part of refilling the proverbial cup now and then.  It has never seemed to me that I have a choice in whether or not to do the hermit thing.  I feel it's more of an instinctual part of me.  I think, for me, those moments of being a hermit had more to do with my upbringing.  I've come to accept that part of my personality needs alone time.  I have never felt guilty, not once, for taking care of my needs.  When I don't, my work suffers and I get moody -- who needs that?

I am a huge bookworm.  One of my favorite things to do to decompress in these I want to be alone moments is to curl up with a good book and just get lost in it.  Combine that with a nice hot bath and a glass of good wine, and I'm lost to the world for quite some time.