Wednesday, March 4, 2015

So I Say to You, Ask and it Will be Given to You

Negative beliefs are born from our wounds and stories.  Although is seems so obvious to me now, I never realized how much negativity in our lives comes from a sad event, etc.

The pain prevents us from seeing the wounds we've worked so hard to conceal or forget about but I strongly believe that once you've gotten a glimpse "behind the veil" so to speak, you are forever changed. There is a fundamental growth that happens when you are able to look deep within and discover the hidden parts of yourself.

I think the most important thing I've learned is that change is a process which means there will be times of growth and times of regression. Instead of expecting myself to "overcome" my negative beliefs or instantly require myself to be more positive (and beating myself up when I'm not), I try to be patient with myself and honor wherever I am in the process. Also, I don't think it's so much about sustaining the change as it is about approaching each difficult situations as a new opportunity to make the conscious choice not to let these thoughts and feelings completely control my actions.

Surrender is about vulnerability and receptivity.  The opposite of surrender is resistance and control.  And it all comes down to fear and trust.

To truly open our hearts, to truly wield our inner power, we must be willing to participate in life.

This requires both owning our part in situations, and allowing experiences to unfold as they will. Accepting others’ actions and emotions without making them fit into some box as a hero or demon. And especially releasing our mental constructs about how life should be, what we should or should not be doing, and how other people should interact with us.

Letting go of past situations didn't mean I was immediately healed from them. That's certainly not the case. I still experience feelings of intense fear and unworthiness. I still become frustrated with concepts such as dating and wondering if I'll be alone forever.

However, in each of these moments I realize that I have a choice. I can either sink deep into the comfort of my negativity and marinade in it because it makes me feel safe and then act out in ways that are harmful.  Or, I can acknowledge the feelings as they occur and then choose to manage them in more effective ways (i.e. calling a supportive friend, writing about it, etc.). It's all about creating a kind and forgiving relationship with yourself instead of an adversarial (I must control myself) type of relationship.