Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my bucket list. I've been evaluating my life's goals, not just career goals; I've been evaluating all aspects of my life in an attempt to determine what goals I have for myself as a person. I've been thinking of the things I want to do, and the places I want to see, in my lifetime. My life has felt very limited. I am a child who has grown up moving from place to place because my father's job dictated it, so I've never really felt grounded. I've always had this restless urge to move around, like I don't belong to just one place. I've lived in my current state longer than I have lived anywhere else because my ex-husband's job required him to be here, and marriage meant I was tied to this location. This desert was never a plan for me. It's not the place I want to be. It seems to me that I've made choices about my life and career based on what other people wanted, and not what was important to me.
I love this quote for many reasons, but ultimately for all the promise it holds. “We are made up of every bit of our past, present and future thoughts. The places we have visited before, the things we have already read, but also of all the dreams we hold and all the places that call to us for some reason.”
Right now, what is calling to me is an immediate desire to see the world around me, to immerse myself in it and explore its hidden corners, to get lost in the culture. I would love to go on an extended road trip that would take me from town to town. I want to travel from here, all the way across the U.S., from the Pacific to the Atlantic and stop in all the in-between places. I would love to spend a few months trying out different states; eating in the mom and pop diners, browsing the shelves of a local bookstore, sipping tea on the sidewalk of the corner bistro. And while I don't know if that will ever really happen, at least not anytime soon because I still have to earn an income to fund journey's like this, I believe that specific desire is a part of my soul for a reason and I believe it's part of the make-up of who I am.