Now I lay me down to sleep… Is it too much to ask for an evening of peace?
It's the time of night I wish for peaceful slumber, but there has been so many changes for me lately. Now peaceful dreams and the wonderful images they bring, clash with the incessant chatter in my head.
There are too many words of worry wreaking havoc in my brain, images that incite fear, constantly haunt my thoughts. What was that? What happened? What could have happened? What are these noises I hear? How many questions beg to be answered? Why won't they leave me alone?
I toss and turn, alone in a spacious bed, with the exception of the two cats that sleep curled up close by. I beg for the silence that night promises to bring. I plead in my constant state of fatigue, for my thoughts to quiet, to settle long enough that I fall into the deep restful realm of dreams.
I desire for sleep, because sleep is an escape into worlds my mind is creating, away from the shackles of everyday life. It's a pleasant escape from reality, that is until the nightmares bully their way past my defenses. As long as my mind is still, and clear, the monsters won't attack me.
Life moves, people grow, everything changes, and I worry about the changes that surround me. Things I have never faced before are now solely mine to deal with, the burden is mine. Life is evolving, and some changes are good and necessary, but still I can’t seem to find a way to silence my mind so that I can escape into a restful state.