Lately,
I have been thinking a lot about my bucket list. I've been evaluating
my life's goals, not just career goals; I've been evaluating all
aspects of my life in an attempt to determine what goals I have for
myself as a person. I've been thinking of the things I want to do,
and the places I want to see, in my lifetime. My life has felt very
limited. I am a child who has grown up moving from place to place
because my father's job dictated it, so I've never really felt
grounded. I've always had this restless urge to move around, like I
don't belong to just one place. I've lived in my current state
longer than I have lived anywhere else because my ex-husband's job
required him to be here, and marriage meant I was tied to this
location. This desert was never a plan for me. It's not the place I
want to be. It seems to me that I've made choices about my life and
career based on what other people wanted, and not what was important
to me.
I
love this quote for many reasons, but ultimately for all the promise
it holds. “We are made up of every bit of our past, present and
future thoughts. The places we have visited before, the things we
have already read, but also of all the dreams we hold and all the
places that call to us for some reason.”
Right
now, what is calling to me is an immediate desire to see the world
around me, to immerse myself in it and explore its hidden corners, to
get lost in the culture. I would love to go on an extended road trip
that would take me from town to town. I want to travel from here, all
the way across the U.S., from the Pacific to the Atlantic and stop in
all the in-between places. I would love to spend a few months trying
out different states; eating in the mom and pop diners, browsing the
shelves of a local bookstore, sipping tea on the sidewalk of the
corner bistro. And while I don't know if that will ever really
happen, at least not anytime soon because I still have to earn an
income to fund journey's like this, I believe that specific desire is
a part of my soul for a reason and I believe it's part of the make-up
of who I am.
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