Heart, Soul, Honesty and Compassion Makes One Beautiful

I employ a basic philosophy - before you judge someone, make sure that you know enough facts, and I'm not talking about the surface details (the stuff they let everyone see); I'm talking deep details, real information about that person so that you can make a reasonable and informed decision. In most cases, you don't know their whole story: where they've come from, where they've been, what their problems are, or what worries they face. It is very important to hold off on making any sorts of judgements until you know all the facts related to them. Instead of judging a person, you should try to help them, and if that doesn't seem like a reasonable option, then leave them alone. Not knowing an individual is the most obvious reason why we shouldn’t judge other people. 

When you judge other people, you don’t define them, you are actually defining yourself.

A Good Head and a Good Heart are Always a Formidable Combo

1.  I'm a breakfast girl, and I do believe breakfast can and should be eaten at all times of the day.  Eggs and bacon, French toast, pancakes, waffles, and even yogurt with granola, honey, and fruit mixed in are some of my favorite foods.  I have been known to dine at IHOP at midnight, and I always order the stuffed French toast with apple compote unless they have pumpkin or gingerbread pancakes in which case I will order those instead.  I love cereal, especially marshmallow filled or chocolate, and will eat it with or without milk, depending on my mood. 

2. I love everything about music, and my favorite tunes tend to be the heavier, edgier kind.  It's the music that motivates me the most when working out.  When I am exercising, I can't listen to slow music or love songs, they don't have the right rhythm to keep me moving.  I prefer metal because it gives me energy while I'm running.  When I'm writing, I tend to prefer something more in-line with what I'm writing about.  If I'm writing a break-up scene, I listen to songs about breaking up.  If I'm writing a love story or a dating scene, then I'm going to listen to love songs.  I listen to what I am feeling in the moment to help put me in a mood.  When I am in the right frame of mind, I find it much easier to write a scene.  I listen to music most of the day, every day, and do not consider myself a music snob.  I can listen to just about anything, with a few exceptions.

3. I will write about you.  If I get to know someone and find personality traits that would make for a great character, I will, from my observations, create a character who acts in a similar manner.  It is not my being disrespectful to any person.  I use real life experiences to help develop characters.  They say you write what you know, and I have a tendency to do just that, with a whole lot of creative freedom mixed in.  They also say every character you write has a tiny amount of the author in them, that is also true to a point.

4. I’m 5’9″.  It's a question I get asked quite frequently.  For the longest time I thought I was 5'6” until the doctor who measured me pointed out that I was not.  I still feel bad for all those guys who told me they were 5'10” or 5'11” and I told them they were wrong.  I couldn't see much difference in our heights.  Turns out I should have been measured before I opened my mouth because I had apparently had a growth spurt and didn't realize it. Oops… My roommate is 5'6” and you can see a considerable difference in our heights.  I can and do admit when I'm wrong.

5. As a woman, I believe in women's rights, and I would fight hard to protect them if I felt they were being threatened, but I am not a feminist.  PETA is obnoxious, and I don't agree with their methods of getting their point across.  I don't support them, or any organization that acts in a similar manner.  Throwing paint on someone borders on assault, and they definitely destroy property.  I pretty much dislike any overly radical organization.  I believe in rights, but I can also see when certain groups take things too far.  You should be an advocate for causes you believe in, but not in a manner that steals the rights of another individual.

6. When going out with a guy, I will let him pay for the first couple of dates.  It's a way to gauge how he's going to treat me if I date him long term.  After the initial first few dates, I'll want to pay.  I believe in equality.  I don't believe a guy should always pay when I feel like going out.  I don't feel like I should always pay when he feels like going out.  I employ the take turns method.  I believe that if you are going to date someone both parties should be involved in the dating process.

7. When it comes to using terms like 'lol' or 'omg' on my social media posts or text messages, I am not a fan, but I find that when I don't use them some individuals take my messages to mean something more than what I intended them to mean.  Words are hard to decipher unless you are the writer.  Terms like lol are meant to lighten the mood, and while I don't care to use the acronym, I will in order to keep my messages from sounding cold or aloof.

8. I do not drink often, and do not find drinking to the point of getting drunk to be appealing.  I have never been drunk in my entire life and I pretty much want to keep it that way.  I'm not sure how anyone finds any enjoyment out of waking up on the bathroom floor after having spent the entire night puking their guts out.  I don't like throwing up when I'm sick so I can pretty much guarantee I won't be purposely inflicting it upon myself.

9. I like winning, but I am not competitive.  I don't get overly excited when I win, and I don't get upset when I lose.

10. I am an awful dancer.  I, however, find dance to be a beautiful, artistic expression, and am quite jealous of those who dance with such ease.  I have always wanted to take dance lessons, but I'm not really sure that I would go out dancing even if I knew how to do it.  I'm not a club girl.  Still, learning to dance is an item on my bucket list.

11. I get shy and quiet around large groups of people, regardless of if I know them or not.  I'm friendly when meeting new people, but a room full of people exhausts me.  Especially a crowded room, and that's mainly because I end up feeling claustrophobic.  It's the introvert part of my personality that causes me to shy away.  I'm not a fan of crowds, and it's best if you are going to introduce me to new people, you do it slowly.  On the flip side of this, when I was working retail and when I tended bar, I had no problem with customer service.  Being around the guests never bothered me because I took it as part of my job responsibility.  I have a suck it up and get the job done personality.  I take my job seriously, and am proud of the work I do.  With customer service, you meet people for the moment, and then they disappear.  It was never an exhausting experience for me to talk to them because I knew I'd never see them again, and I was fascinated by the stories they were telling me.

12. We live in a world where text messaging is the way of communicating.  Don't freak out if I don’t answer a message immediately.  Sometimes I have my phone near me, sometimes I don't.  I am not attached to technology, with the exception of the computer, because I make money writing articles for on-line use.  If I wasn't making my living on the computer, I wouldn't be attached to that either.  I sometimes deliberately ignore text messages when I am trying to get something done, or when I am at work.  Sometimes I forget to grab my phone or leave my phone in the car.  If I don't respond, you should assume I'm nowhere near my phone, and I probably haven't seen my messages.

I Desire Always to Stretch My Dreams Further and Further

Fall is wonderful, now.  It wasn't always my favorite season.  Fall marks the beginning of the school year, and what kid likes going back to school after spending long summer days out playing with their friends and causing trouble around the neighborhood.  That's not a hundred percent accurate, I was a good kid, and I rarely caused trouble, but summer did mean I had a certain level of freedom.  I could stay up all night, and sleep all day, because I didn't have anywhere to be the next day. 

Fall is a season I grew to appreciate, and as I grow older I fall more and more in love with the season.  The colors, the holidays, the changes, the food, the clothes, the boots – everything about fall is like magic to me.

Every year the autumn months are similar - a beautiful change of season - everything goes into a sleeping state, nature begins the process of readying itself for the harsh winter.  Leaves change color, and fall from the trees.  Some animals and bugs are getting ready to hibernate, and some are getting ready to migrate to warmer climates.  The morning and evening air shifts, and the days shift from brutally hot to a more bearable temperature; that slight morning chill dissipates as the day progresses into the afternoon and returns when darkness blankets the sky.  The days are comfortable, the evenings make you want to curl up in front of a roaring fire, and the mornings make you grateful for the warmth of your bed.

Muted colors are everywhere.  They become the theme of the season.  Orange is everywhere, and so is brown, wine colored reds, as well as olive and forest greens.  Colors are toned down to reflect the mood of the season.  This is the season when the fashion world flourishes.  I love fashion.  I love fall fashion.  Skirts and dresses paired with boots can be seen worn by everyone. Plaid and argyle (my two favorite patterns) can be found prominently displayed in storefront windows.  Sweaters and light jackets make their appearance.  It's a fun time of the year to experiment with your look.  Men in trench length wool jackets… sexy.  I don't know why, but I love it.

Pumpkin is everywhere.  My favorite foods make an appearance during the fall months: pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cake, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin pancakes, apple cakes, cinnamon spiced foods, turkey, soups and stews.  And some of my favorite beverages occur at this time as well: warm apple or cherry cider, hot chocolate with lots of whipped cream, pumpkin spiced everything, and hot tea.  It's not the pumpkin I love.  It's the spice mix, found in pumpkin flavored foods, that I love. It's not just the taste either, I love how it makes the entire house smell when you are cooking it.  Cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg baked together is a heavenly scent combination for me.  Cinnamon is my favorite scent. 

Halloween and Thanksgiving occur during the fall, and of the two holidays, Halloween is still my favorite fall holiday.  I don't care how old I get, I love getting dressed up and taking my niece and nephew trick-or-treating around the neighborhood. On the reverse, when I can't be with my niece and nephew, I love handing out candy to the young children who don't actually understand why they are dressed the way they are, knocking on stranger's doors, holding out a bag or bucket unsure if that is what they are supposed to do, uttering a phrase, and then seeing the delight on their faces when they realize what they were just given. It's a special feeling, and because I'm the generous candy lady, I usually get repeat visitors.

Football season starts, and while I am not a rowdy fan, I do have a team I root for.  For me it's the spirit that comes with the sport, the ribbing and the teasing, not necessarily the game itself. I think it's interesting to be around like minded people who get so involved in a team that the team's win or loss becomes almost personal to them.  I love the energy and the excitement of the game.  The winning or losing doesn't matter to me, I'm not the one being paid millions of dollars to play the game.  It's a fun sport to watch, but I don't take my love for the sport to an extreme.  Still, there is nothing like going to an actual game, rooting for your team, and then watching them win.

Travelling.  When I was working full-time, I had to plan my vacations around business levels, and that meant I could not take vacations during the summer months.  I favored taking my vacations during the fall months with an occasional spring trip.  School starts in the fall.  With kids back in school, less people travel.  I get some of my best travel discounts and deals during the fall, and I have the opportunity to explore cities at their least crowded moments.

I'm not sure what it is, but there's something so intense about fall that makes you feel more deeply than any other season. I love spring, but it's a rejuvenating love, but fall is deep joy and eventide love. There's so much beauty in things beginning to die and rest, the colors are keen and vivid, and those beautiful memories linger and bring their warmth into winter.

Every year my love for this season is rekindled. Just like an old spark that turns into a flame… I fall in love with fall every year.

This Has Been My Life; I Find It Worth Living

Goal Weight, Goal Behaviors, Goal Thoughts :

I am back from my Labor Day off and happy to see everyone here.  I had a great time just relaxing and taking care of myself for the day.  There was no pressure to get anything done.  I took time for me.  I enjoyed the day.  It's not often that I get just for me moments.  I spent two hours walking, enjoying nature, and the morning in general.


If you know me then you know that I'm diligent about maintaining my weight, and I try not to allow it to fluctuate more than a couple of pounds.  I try not to snack, and eat only when I'm hungry.  I try to drink plenty of water.  I try not to sit for too long.  I try to add higher fiber foods, and more protein to my meals.  I exercise every day.


This isn't a one hundred percent vanity thing, although I do like that I easily slip into a size two dress, I am not on a diet, nor am I trying to lose weight.  My love of fitness has more to do with health.  I have allergies.  I have asthma.  While I control my allergies with medication, I absolutely despise taking my inhaler.  Exercise built up my lungs so I don't have to.  My goal when I workout is to maintain my health, and if my dress size doesn't suffer than that is a bonus.


My family has a rich history of diabetes.  My family has a history of heart disease.  My family has a history of breast cancer.  Exercise is preventative maintenance and a sleek, toned look is the bonus my body receives.


I don't exercise for hours.  I exercise for an hour.  I do cardio: running outdoors, walking, and bicycling.  I do bodyweight exercise.  I lift using free weights.  I have not paid for a gym membership in ages because everything I need I have at home.  I have an incredible running trail that starts right behind my home and leads to an area beside the petroglyphs, the city provides this to me, and all of its residence.  It's a public trail, and it sees a lot of traffic.  It's a safe area for me to run. 


Being outside is important to me.  Nature is important to me.  This planet is important to me.


I'm not an environmentalist per se, but I do believe that if you can take preventative steps to save the planet then you should do it.  We have plenty of renewable resources, there is no logical reason to cut down a forest when we can recycle the paper the tree we cut down before it created.  I feel the same way about driving when you are close enough to walk to your locations.  The cost of gas is ridiculous, and that is why I limit the amount I drive.  The water company just punished the entire city with a rate hike for conserving too much water; they failed to meet their quota.  So yes, I am about finding better energy resources that benefit the community and the environment, not punish them.  I do have environmental goals, but I'm not an extreme radical in the way I present them.  For me, I enjoy being in and around nature, and I don't like the idea of our planet being destroyed for the sake of corporate greed.


I do believe in human rights.  I believe we should be treating each other with respect and dignity, regardless of what country we live in.  Human Rights is a touchy subject to talk about because many countries don't have the same rights as the country I live in, and many don't understand what these rights mean.


I don't talk politics, but I vote in every election.  There is nothing more sacred than the right to vote.  I do have a vision as to how I'd like to see our nation evolve.  My voice is in my vote.  I am registered to a party, but that doesn't mean my vote is limited to that party.


I believe in animal rights, but I'm not going to tell someone not to slaughter a cow when I just ate a steak.  I am not a vegetarian.  I understand that we raise certain animals as a food source.  I also understand that an overpopulation of any creature can destroy an entire ecosystem.  On the reverse, killing off an entire population of animals can also have negative effects on the ecosystem.  Killing an animal for the sake of a trophy, or a tusk to make trinkets, makes no sense to me.


Obviously I have work goals, and goals that pertain to where I hope to go in the future.  It's not just about where I live, or how many books I plan to write.
I am happy to see that my websites have generated the best week ever for me, and it's not just by a small amount, but by an increase of about fifty percent.  I've made sacrifices in my personal life in order to build up a business that I could be proud of.  My commissions and income from writing sources have already been growing steadily in the past three years, but there is still room to grow, and places to build.  I am on pace to not only reach my business goals, but to blow them clean out of the water.  I may even need to set some higher goals.


My goals are not just to produce an income for myself.  I would love to teach my family and friends how they can create income streams on-line.  That takes dedication on their part.  If I tell them to start a blog, and they haven't yet, then they are obviously not dedicated to the process.  It takes time and effort to build a steady following.  I can't just go in and wave a wand and make it happen for them.  I love watching others succeed, and I would love to be a part of that, but I can't do it for them.

Tenderness and Kindness are Not Signs of Weakness

Being in a relationship, or a part of a relationship, is a broad term. There are many different types of relationships that you will experience in life. Some relationships are by choice, some you are born or marry into, some are in passing (people you meet on the street, checkout lines in the grocery store, or sitting at a Starbucks), and others are fleeting moments in time.

Two people that share communication in any form, have an interpersonal relationship. Any person with whom you share communication, whether face-to-face, anonymously over the Internet, a stranger you pass on the street or the neighbor next door, defines the meaning of interpersonal relationship.

A close association between individuals who share common interests and goals is a relationship. Not all relationships are romantic.

Friendship:

Aristotle once declared that "Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies." It is the most unselfish of all love, for it seeks only the happiness and good of the other.

Friendship is a relationship that individuals enter into by choice. Just because you know someone does not necessarily mean that you are friends with them. You can converse with someone and just be acquainted with them. Friendship is mutual. It's a decision between two people.

Friendship is a relationship where formalities don't exist. It's a natural feeling between people where they feel they can be who they are without fear of judgment. It's an arena where individuals truly enjoy being in the presence of each other. Friendship can be between man and woman, man and man, or woman and woman.

Friendship is a unique and personal entity, and is different from person to person. Friendship is a relationship in which two people often share openly and equally with each other, it takes time and effort to build up a friendship. It is common in friendships to share moments of happiness, joy, grief, fear, and the list goes on. Honesty is the single most important component to a friendship because it creates trust. Honesty helps to build feelings of being connected. Honesty helps build loyalty. A friend does not always tell the other what they want to hear, but will always tell one what they need to hear. Friendship is not one-sided. An individual is not going to confide their deepest, darkest secrets to someone whom they don't trust.

Not everyone is going to be a friend, but they can still care about the happiness of others, though probably not as much as they care about their own. If you are true friends, you will care as much for the other as you do for yourself. A true friend laughs with one, not at one, and will always be there when needed.

Love Relationship:

Love, also categorized as the romantic relationship, is a relationship characterized by passion, intimacy, trust and respect. Individuals in a romantic relationship are deeply attached to each other and share a special bond. They know each other's secrets, their wants, their desires, strengths, weaknesses...

Platonic Relationship:

 

When you have a relationship/friendship between two individuals who share no feelings or sexual desire for the other, that is called a platonic relationship. In this kind of relationship, a man and a woman, or same sex individuals, are just friends and do not mix love with friendship. There is no romance associated with this type of relationship, and the individuals do not want to be seen as a couple. They are quick to define themselves as just friends. Now, in some cases platonic friendships might end in a romantic relationship where both individuals develop a mutual love and attraction for each other.

Family Relationship:

We don't chose our family, we are born into it, unless of course you have a family member that is adopted. With family, there are individuals you have strong bonds with, some you never speak to, and others you will never meet. Your relationship in regards to your family is a bond of blood.

When you get married, or even seriously involved in a relationship, you will acquire a whole new family, and you will build relationships with those family members.

Professional Relationship (Work Relationship):

All people working together for the same company are said to have a professional relationship. Those individuals sharing a professional relationship are called colleagues. Colleagues may or may not like each other, but they still have to work together for the sake of the team.

The professional relationship is circumstantial. You are acquaintances through a workplace. These types of relationships have the potential to build into strong friendships, but that is often determined by how much time you spend with the individual. Pressure under fire has a way of bringing people closer together, and when you are constantly working as a team, you tend to bond with the people you work with.

Work friends can often be seen hanging out with each other, sitting close to each other during meetings, eating lunch together, and socializing after work. They are the ones that fill our social needs while we are at our job.

I Believe in Love―a Kind, Selfless, Unending Devotion.

I’m 40 years old and I'm single.  It's been that way for awhile.  It's a choice I made, not because I'm not attracted to the opposite sex or that I fear commitment, I do miss being involved in a relationship, but I don't want to lose myself in one.  If that makes sense.

I seem to be one of a few girls over the age of 35 who is NOT in a panic over her single status.

I was married in my twenties, to the guy I dated in high school, and divorced in my thirties.  I think I've earned the right to be single for awhile, after all marriage wasn't all it was cracked up to be.  I felt more confined and trapped than I did free and happy.  It's not that I didn't love the guy; I just always had that feeling he wasn't the right guy.

He provided for me, and he took care of me, but we wanted different things.  

He is now remarried, and has adopted her child.  He and I couldn't have children together because he is affected by a rare disease that causes tumors to randomly appear in his body.  The probability of a child surviving, if we had had one, would have been low because the child would have most probably inherited the disease.  He had a vasectomy at sixteen, and when I married him, I sacrificed any chance I had of giving birth to a child.  We could have adopted, but the process is a lot harder than you can imagine.  I learned to accept that I wouldn't have children of my own, world's greatest aunt, but I don't think he ever did.  Get married, start your careers, buy a house, have children... it's kind of the normal course when you get married.

Now, I'm not saying I wouldn't date someone who has children, or even get involved in a serious relationship, but I am at that point in my life where I don't want to give birth to them.  I'm also not looking to get remarried.  If you think a break up is tough, try getting a divorce.

I am blissfully single, and I know there are those who think that is strange, but when I get involved in relationships, they tend to be long term.  I'm not the one night stand, or the drunk mistake... I'm selective.  I'm not looking to get involved with anyone who is jumping from bed to bed.

I’m not afraid to be in a relationship.  There are no underlying issues that I have buried inside me that keeps me from finding the next 'Mister Right'.  I am not terrified at the prospect of falling in love.  I am not fearful that my heart is going to be smashed into a million little pieces.  I don't feel that I’m untouchable, but I may be a little guarded as a result of an unspoken trauma, although there is a slight amount of truth to this, it is not what holds me back.  I have inner demons, and I don't want to expose my vulnerability. There are some trust issues... unhealed emotional wounds...

But that is not why I am single.  I'm single because I am focused.  I'm working on a career.  I'm writing.  There is not a lot of time for anything else.  I'm fiercely protective of my independence.   

I would love to fall in love. There is no feeling more intense than that of falling in love.  I want the intimacy that comes from being in a relationship with a man who understands me.  Someone who gets my drive and passion.  Someone who understands my fears, and loves me unconditionally, regardless of my flaws.  I want to be a part of a loving, stable relationship.

It’s not love that I fear. It’s a life of mediocrity that terrifies me.  I'm not afraid of sharing my life; I'm afraid that my priorities will change, and what I am doing now to better my life will fall by the wayside because a relationship becomes my priority.  I fear losing sight of my ambitions because of a guy.  I want to be with the guy whose presence knocks the wind out of me.  The person who speaks to me, and I stop to listen just so I can hear his voice.  I want to be with the playful, flirtatious, charismatic guy who touches me to the point my body craves to be with him.  But if I'm focused on a relationship, what happens to my dreams? 

I Have Always Been Delighted at the Prospect of a New Day

Sunday is a really good day to catch up on real life responsibilities.  Today, I had planned to get some yard work done, but weather did not permit.  It was too windy, and that means it's too dangerous to burn.  The weather has been a frustration for me, lately.  These heavy rains are bringing weeds, and some of those weeds are full of stickers and thorns.  I need to do a controlled burn in order to burn off the stickers so that I can pull up the plant by the root without implanting splinters and thorns into my skins.  I don't own gardening tools (aside from gloves) because I'm not a gardener, and I don't enjoy the process of gardening.  I do however enjoy plants in bloom.  I love walking through gardens, and I appreciate nature and its resourcefulness.  I often joke about my inability to to grow plants in my yard.  The way it works in my yard is: if I plant something it dies, but if the plant plants itself it survives.  You can ask the two cactus that have pretty much blossomed into a front door threat because they have grown too large and wide, or the small tree in my backyard that I now have to figure out how to transplant (I don't want to kill it) because it decided to grow at the base of my house which threatens the foundation.  It's a sapling, but it's going to get bigger, and its roots are going to spread.  I need to move it before that happens.  Homeowner problems... and the reason I need to hire a good landscaper.

Beyond that, I have been thinking a lot about home renovation projects.  If I want to sell my house, I'm going to have to make it the best possible version of itself in order to bring in top dollar for its sell.  I bought my property near the bottom of the market which means it has already increased tremendously in value.  Even if I decide not to sell, and maybe just rent it out (passive income stream), I'd still need to do some renovations. I have put serious consideration into the things I want to do, the things I need to get done, and the time frame as to when it needs to be done so that I can move.  Desert life has been fun, but I would like to try something new.

I'm not much of a do it yourself girl, although there are things that I can do, I'd prefer to hire professionals to do the job.  That means I have to map out what I want before I do anything.  I have to commit to contractors, and I have to live in a mess until renovations are done.  I don't want to just pull up carpet and repaint.  I want to modernize the kitchen and the bathrooms.  Tile the floors, minor maybe, but it would still add value to what I already own.  Two story, four bedrooms, two bathrooms, kitchen, dining room, living room, loft - 2300 square feet - it's not a small house.  I need to build a new fence, paint the exterior, and of course landscape.  Houses are commitments.  There is always something to do, or something that needs repaired.  

While I understand the desire to own property, when you want to move, owning a home complicates things.