Love, You are Always on My Mind and Heart

When I wake up in the morning, my thoughts gradually gather as my dreams slowly seep into the back of my mind. I'm aware in my half sleep state, not yet ready to get out of the warmth and comfort of my bed, but also realizing I'm no longer asleep. I wake up naturally, my body has its own internal clock. Same time every morning, I'm wide awake. Sometimes I try to convince myself I need an extra five minutes of sleep, but the reality is that when I'm awake, I'm awake.
I begin to move, slowly shifting about – I never jump right out of bed, I ease into my morning - the sun shines bright through windows; it's a natural way to wake up. By this time, my roommate has already left for work. The house is quiet and still, until my cats realize I'm up, and then they demand attention. It’s a peaceful beginning to my day.

I stretch, and do the standard morning wake up routine, before I change into my running clothes. I never eat or drink anything before I run. I, like most runners, have experienced side stitches and not eating a meal before exercise helps me prevent them. There are mornings when I don't feel like running, and while I know that running gets me home quicker, I will opt to walk instead. Some mornings my muscles aren't as relaxed, because I slept too hard, and walking becomes the best option.
My neighborhood is fairly active in the mornings. I talk to many of my neighbors as they are getting ready to head into work or take their children to school, before I hit the running trail. They are fairly aware of who I am. They are used to seeing me in my running state, and in my fashion look of the day moments. I have a supportive community of neighbors who understand that I work from home as a writer. I never run far from home, I try to stay in the neighborhood, where I can be seen, and I never run in deserted areas.

When my body has decided I'm done running because it's hungry, that's when I head home to eat. Breakfast is a simple meal. I don't have a ton of time to invest in cooking, and there is a point of no return if I wait too long to eat, where I become impossible to deal with, so I keep my morning meal easy.
When I fire up the computer, I'm pretty much set to start my work day. The first part of my day is on-line. I do my socializing, look through emails, and do whatever research needs to get done before I start writing. When I start writing, I'm off-line, on a word processor where my work can be saved. If the ideas come to me naturally, I will write between six to eight hours a day. There is a point during this time when I stop so I can get a look of the day image for my fashion sites. As soon as I've posted that image, I return to where I left off in my writing. When I am in writing mode, I periodically will check my email, I may even do a little more socializing, but I limit my on-line activity so I can get work done.
Just like in any office, there are certain distractions that when they pop up cause me to lose my focus.  That's why part of my day is spent away from those distractions.

What Happens When People Open Their Hearts?

Writing Prompt:

On three small, separate scraps of paper, write down one dream you have for your life, the name of someone you love, and one talent you have that you value.

Now shuffle these three pieces of paper and pick one at random. Which one was it?

All people, at some point in their life, have to deal with some form of grief or loss. An accident, an injury, or a random life situation could take away a dream, a person, or a talent from us without warning. Think about what it would be like to lose what is written on that scrap piece of paper. Write down your thoughts. What would your life be like without what is on that scrap piece of paper? How much grief and loss would you experience? How would it compare to losing the other two?

Infinite Gratitude, Infinite Hope

I thought I’d write this post sharing with everyone the current personal projects I’m working on, hoping to turn them into something more later on.  October is a dedicated write a page a day month.  October is not dedicated to any specific type of writing; it's just a writing month.  November is National Novel Writing Month.  I will be on vacation for the first part of this challenge, but plan to write in the moments when everyone is asleep, at work, or at school.

1) Short Stories – I've been writing them for many years, and I've shared a few on different websites. As I've learned from content marketing, those websites make money from my content, but they do not share that revenue with me. I pulled my stories for that reason.  I feel I would rather share my stories on my own income generating site or self-publish.  The only one who should be generating income from my stories is me.  Content is king and if you are not creating new content you are not ranking with Google.  While I respect those websites need to earn in order to stay alive on-line, they are not generating their own content, they are relying on others to create for them.  I have no intention of producing content for those sites anymore, but I am still dedicated to creating short stories for everyone to read.  I haven't decided if I want to incorporate my work on this blog, but I will eventually republish all stories I've released in the past, somewhere.

2) Novel – During the month of November my attention is going to be hard to keep.  In keeping with the challenge of Novel Writing Month, I have to write 50,000 words from the beginning of the month to the end.  There is no specific word count for each day, but the end result is 50,000 words.  The point is not to have a polished, fully edited novel ready at the end of the month.  What I will have is the meat of a book that will then need to be edited, and then possibly published.  Since, I'll be in Texas for the start of this challenge, I'll be writing in notebooks.

3) Essays – I enjoy writing prompts, especially those with dedicated word counts. I will be writing page long stories based on prompts that my sister has been generously giving me, as well as prompts being sent to me through my writing sites.  The nice thing about essay stories is they don't require you to write beyond a page (possibly two), but they can lead to a short story if the idea is good enough.

My plan for the future is to get away from writing for others, and just write for myself.  My goal is to be more Stephen King or Nora Roberts, and less content writer.  I don't know how my writing plans will affect this blog.  I plan to maintain it during these crazy busy months, but at the same time I still need to focus some attention towards my job as a content writer because I do need to pay my bills.  In November, I'll be working toward a goal/dream while still working to live, and I'm not sure how late that will keep me up each night.  I expect to be exhausted at the beginning of December.

Every Flower Blooms at a Different Pace

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

My name happens to be unique, and often misunderstood.  I am questioned regularly as to whether my parents were hippies, which is completely the opposite of who they are.  I share my mother's middle name.  My brother shares my father's. My first name has nothing to do with a hippie lifestyle.  I was named after the gemstone itself (Amethyst), or more specifically the color of the gemstone (purple).  My mother was a huge influence as to what I was named.  Purple was her favorite color, and it was the name that both my parents could agree on.  While I do go by Amethyst, you will often hear my friends and family call me by my nickname Amy or the random Ames.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

I have moments where I reflect on past situations and sometimes certain memories make me cry.  There are some situations in life that require closure to move on.  There are moments when I feel like I'm in limbo, haunted by this ghost of a memory, like my mother's death.  Recently, I had an issue with falling asleep, and a few days later I ended up having a nightmare.  I cried … When I don't get six hours of uninterrupted sleep, I tend to be vulnerable.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

My handwriting can be nice when I don't rush it, but I often compare myself to a doctor.  Sometimes I write so fast, I can't even read what is written. 

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Turkey or pastrami would be my favorites.  My perfect turkey sandwich is made on whole grain bread with Swiss cheese, mustard, lettuce/spinach, and pickles.  I love pastrami and Swiss on rye bread with a Dijon mustard.  My father once took a trip to New York for business - this was back when I lived in Las Vegas - he was introduced to pastrami while on that trip.  After that trip, pastrami became a treat food for us.  Lunch meats I do not like are ham or bologna.  With ham it's a texture thing mixed with a salty flavor.  Bologna is just gross.  I do not like white bread, unless it's homemade.  I think white bread tastes bland.  No onion or tomatoes ever touch my sandwich.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Do my cats count, because they sure act like children.

6. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

I am sarcastic and playful at the same time. 

7. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

Yes, but I almost had to have them removed.  When I was younger, I ended up with mononucleosis.  I was really, really sick, but thought it was just a bad flu.  I was never treated for it.  My mother was a nurse, and she took care of me.  Later on, in my high school years, I had recurring issues with laryngitis.  After a severe asthma attack, which put me in the emergency room, the doctor found the virus attached to my tonsils.  My tonsils were swollen and had caused a blockage in my breathing.  I underwent a round of antibiotics to kill the virus, and fortunately it worked because I still have my tonsils.  That virus was in my system for roughly ten years before anyone caught it.

8. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

When I was younger the idea of bungee jumping appealed to me, and so did skydiving.  I think somewhere inside me it still does, but it's not something I would actively pursue. Although, skydiving is on my bucket list.

9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

Marshmallow Mateys.  My favorite cereals have marshmallows in them.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

Mint chocolate chip.  I would have said pumpkin, but pumpkin is seasonal. 

11. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

I don't normally talk on the phone.  My roommate was the last person I talked to.  He called to tell me the plumber was on the way.  I had a hose bibb that needed to be replaced because it was dripping water.  Mark tried to fix it himself, but he was concerned he'd break the pipe, so I called someone professional to fix it. 

12. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

No.  Currently, I have perfect vision. 

13. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?

I prefer cardio, but I love strength training.  Lifting weights gives me confidence.  I feel powerful and strong, but cardio keeps me lean.  When I strength train, I lose too much weight, and I already have a hard time maintaining a healthy weight.

14. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?

I can live without television, but I can't live without a computer.  I earn an income on-line, so a computer is kind of necessary.  Besides, you can watch television on a computer just by streaming programs.

15. ANY TATTOOS?

No, but there was a point when I considered getting one.  I think tattoos are beautiful, but I decided it wasn't for me.  The idea of the needles scared me a little, but my decision not to get one boiled down to not knowing what I wanted.

I Believe in the Immeasurable Power of Love

After many years of struggling to get to where I am, I realized some very important things that I would like to share with you:

Never give up on your dreams.

Even if you pushed your dreams out of the way because someone told you they were impossible to achieve, they’re still your dreams; you’ve merely set them aside.
Think back and remember the dreams you once had, whether it was to go to college or to become an animal rescuer or even to travel the globe. Your dreams have never truly gone away. If you work hard enough and do all of the necessary planning, you can achieve any goal that you set.

Learn to take risks and ignore all of the “what ifs.”

When I first started freelance work, I had enough “what ifs” to build an entire country. What if I can't find clients? What if I can’t handle the demands? What if I have to deal with financial pitfalls? What if, what if, what if…
I finally had the nerve to just kick the “what ifs” off of the boat and take the plunge into the sea of dreams. You can conjure up all of the “what ifs” that your mind will allow, but that energy is better spent working toward your goals.

Meditate and live in the present moment.

I am going to assume that if you put your life’s dreams on the backburner, it’s because they seemed insurmountable at the time. I am not telling you that it will be a walk in the park, because that has not been my experience, but I will say that taking each piece bit-by-bit makes it a lot easier to chew.
Don’t dwell on the past and do not worry too much about the future; just…be.
Meditation, something I never thought I’d ever do, has been my saving grace. I incorporated a meditation routine into every day (just like brushing my teeth), and it has virtually eliminated all of the stress and anxiety associated with my experiences in life.

Make friends with your obstacles.

I used to despise certain tasks, and the more I couldn’t stand them, the more difficult everything in my life became. I finally realized that, because I never gave it a real chance, I did not have the right to be so angry at it. Just like when we first meet someone, it is better to be friendly toward that person rather than to judge him or her and simply walk away.
If something is standing in your way, try your best to give it some gentle understanding. Perhaps you were looking at it all wrong from the start.
Make friends with the things that aggravate you and find reasons to like them; it makes it so much easier to master something when you no longer consider it an obstacle.
It is never too late to fulfill your dreams and become the person you have always longed to be. You just need to let go of fear and step into the unknown.

Go Beyond Your Tangled Thoughts; Find the Splendor in Truth

1. We learn from our mistakes, yet we’re always so afraid to make one. Where is this true for you?

2. What risk would you take if you knew you could not fail?

3. What is your greatest strength? Have any of your recent actions demonstrated this strength?

4. What are the top five things you cherish in your life?

5. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

6. When do you stop calculating risk and rewards, and just do it?

7. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

8. What do you most connect with? Why?

9. What one piece of advice would you offer a newborn child?

10. Which is worse—failing or never trying?

11. Why do we do things we dislike and like the things we never seem to do?

12. What are you avoiding?

13. What is the one job/cause/activity that could get you out of bed happily for the rest of your life? Are you doing it now?

14. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

15. What are you most grateful for?

16. What would you say is one thing you’d like to change in the world?

17. Do you find yourself influencing your world, or it influencing you?

18. Are you doing what you believe in or settling for what you’re doing?

19. What are you committed to?

20. Which worries you more – doing things right or doing the right things?

21. If joy became the national currency, what kind of work would make you wealthy?

22. Have you been the kind of friend that you'd want in one?

23. Do any of the things that used to upset you a few years ago matter at all today? What’s changed?

24. Would you rather have less work to do or more work you enjoy doing?

25. What permission do you need/want to move forward?

26. Really, what do you have to lose if you go for it?

27. How different would your life be if there weren’t any criticism in the world?

28. We’re always making choices. Are you choosing for your story or for someone else’s?

Powerful questions can change the very fiber of our construction. They give us a chance to challenge our own ideals and perhaps shed some light on what we are and are not committed to.

It’s important to understand that we’re always committed to something. If it’s not success out on our own, it’s staying safe in the comfortable success of someone else. If we’re not committed to creating our opportunities, we’re committed to floating around, hoping, waiting, and wishing for circumstance.

Are you more committed to dreaming it or doing it?

Ask yourself some of these questions when you feel stuck. What comes up just might surprise you!

Memories Fall Upon My Dreams

1. Where’s your happy place?

I’d probably have to say anywhere outdoors. I love to run. I love to walk. I love to hike. I love being outside. I tend to be stuck indoors more than I like because I write for a living, but I make it a point to go outside every day. Growing up, my father, when he wasn't out of town on business, would take the family to parks for picnics, the lake, up to the mountains, out camping, and even shooting in the desert. I'm a girly girl with tomboy tendencies. I really like that balance in my personality.

2. Have you booked your next holiday?

Yes. I will be heading to Texas to visit with my baby sister and her family. The original plan was to go to Texas and then take a flight to Philadelphia/New York to handle some business. I've changed those plans to allow myself some writing time during the snowy winter months. I'm not a fan of snow, and I know that area gets more than I care for. While I have my Texas trip planned, I don't have definitive dates for Philadelphia and New York. I just know I'll be there in the spring.

3. What was your favorite subject at school and why?

Math. I was a straight A student when I went to school, graduating with honors, in the top percent of my class. While I was good at all subjects, math was just something that came naturally easy for me. Oddly enough, English was my worst subject. My teacher was constantly trying to get me to be more technical with my writing, but I was more of a creative writer. She'd give the class certain assignments, I'd go over her words counts because I was too descriptive. I still passed with an A, but English was always my lowest A.

4. Glamping or all-inclusive?

All-inclusive because I feel camping is not a glamorous activity. It's meant to be rough. When I go camping, I sleep in a sleeping bag inside of a tent. Roast marshmallows over a fire. Tell campfire stories. I would never want to be a part of a luxury camping trip because I think it spoils the concept of camping. Whereas all-inclusive vacations are nice because you don't have to worry about the details. You can just enjoy the holiday.

5. What’s been the highlight of your year so far?

Quitting my job to work from home full-time. Watching my income streams grow. I feel more accomplished writing/marketing than I ever did working full-time for someone else. Getting to a point where I am comfortable sharing little details of who I am on this blog. I feel like I'm growing as a person. I'm getting more comfortable in my skin, accepting myself, and writing about it.

6. How did you decide what to name your blog?

It's a play on my first and last name. My last name is a French name in origin. My first name is a gemstone, and it's color happens to be purple. The name sounds like an exotic flower. It sounds pretty to me. My plans for the future is to find a graphic artist and have him/her design a logo that embodies the name.

7. Halloween or Christmas?   

I'd say Halloween because I love dressing up for the holiday, but Christmas has this amazing magic to it. Halloween is an in the moment holiday, whereas Christmas is an event. Halloween you dress up and do it, but with Christmas I have memories attached to the season. I remember my father driving us around neighborhoods to look at lights. I remember watching Christmas movies with my siblings. I remember the big dinners. I remember my parents would buy boatloads of gifts. Along with toys, they would get us electronics systems and test them on Christmas Eve. My brother, sisters, and I could hear my mom and dad playing them. We would sneak out of bed and try to get a glimpse of what they were doing. We'd always get caught, and we knew we were going to, but it was a curiosity that got the better of us. We had to check out what was going on. I have fond memories as a whole during the Christmas season.

8. What was your all time favorite trip and why?

I took a trip, when I was married, to North Carolina. It was a road trip. While driving that kind of distance was exhausting, seeing all the places on the routes was incredible. I can say I've been to places I would not have intentionally planned to go to. I've eaten local cuisine. I've met incredible people. It was a wonderful trip. I've done a similar road trip later on, but it wasn't quite as extensive. I flew to St. Louis, drove to Chicago, Ohio, and then back to St. Louis. Both were incredible trips but in different ways.

9. What’s next for your blog?

I’m not sure yet. I'd like to move from two days a week postings to three and then four, but it would have to be done in a way that wouldn't burden me with more work. I love coming over here and connecting with fellow bloggers, but I have time constraints. I would like to make a stronger commitment to the blog, maybe showcase more of my writing, and maybe even bring in more of a fashion presence. It was intended to be a fashion blog, but I feel it's become more personal. I feel like it's more of a journal in its current state. I think that's a good thing, but I do have advertising on the blog. I want to keep the personality of the blog while creating a more solid income stream.