Rekindle the Magic of Love in Your Heart

In all my years of existence there are plenty of things that I have learned about life. Some of those things are a constant struggle, others are a work in progress, and there are many lessons I won't include in an attempt spare everyone from an incredibly long post.

Lesson one - accept yourself for who you are – in life, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks, YOU are amazing just the way you are. I think everyone needs to try and remember that because personally, I know there are plenty of people out there who see themselves as failures and they beat themselves up for the things that they are not. It is all of our unique qualities that make us who we are, and create our individual personalities. Let's face it, life would be boring if we were all the same. It's a constant struggle to embrace ourselves for who we are, and not compare ourselves to those around us. But once you learn to accept the qualities that set you apart, you realize just how special you truly are and all that you have to contribute.

Lesson two - always say I love you – you should always tell the people you love how much they mean to you. In my opinion, hearing someone say they love you never gets old, and I am not talking romantic love. We love many people in different ways. I love my sisters. I love my brother. I love my father. I love my family. I love my friends. And there is nothing wrong with expressing my love for them. It doesn't have to mean anything more than you appreciate the impact they have made in your life. You never know how those words can affect a person, and it's best to make sure that the people you love have no doubt about your feelings for them.

Lesson three – always trust your gut- follow your heart and trust your instincts. They're usually right. There have been plenty of incidents where had I just listened to my gut, I could have spared myself unnecessary heartache. Sometimes we let what others say sway us into believing what we know in our hearts to be untrue. Had I listened to my instincts, I could have saved myself a whole lot of bad feelings.

Lesson four - go see and do- travel! In today's economy, it's hardly affordable to just jump on a plane and go anywhere, especially when you have to consider what you are paying for. It's not just a plane ticket: it's food, it's lodging, it's taking in the local areas, exploring, spending your money on trinkets, and attractions. You have to plan for it, and you have to budget and save. If it's important to you, you will find a way to get out and see the world. Travel is important to me. It's my belief that the more cultures you experience and places you travel, the better understanding you'll have of this world and the people who encompass it. Meeting new people and seeing how they live and understanding the history of their culture grants you compassion and understanding for other people and their way of life.

Lesson five - never settle - I've seen far to many people in my life get stuck in a routine they feel safe and comfortable in. They are complacent with where they are in life, while wishing they could break free and do something they love, but they rarely push themselves to reach their full potential. I could have easily been one of those people. Thankfully, I worked up the courage to take a risk. And although it was hard, I am one hundred percent happier today, and so thankful to be where I am now.

Lesson six - it's okay to say no sometimes - I am a people pleaser through and through. I am still working on this one. But I'm learning that it is okay to say "no" sometimes. It's better to put the best version of yourself out there, then spread yourself too thin. I'm still trying to learn not to put too much on my plate. I've learned that when I focus on a few things that matter to me, I see better results and feel more fulfilled than trying to please everyone and do everything.

Kindness, I've Discovered, is Everything in Life

While I was reading today, I found a list of challenges that are supposed to help inspire daily blog postings.  While I don't post every day, I still found certain topics on the list to be interesting enough to encourage me to partake in the challenge. 

I think that this challenge could possibly be my favorite topic. I'm sure the intention was to create easy challenges intermixed with harder ones so that there wouldn't be so much pressure on the writer to get a post written: life gets in the way, people have jobs, and sometimes blogs sit for long periods without new content being placed on them (which is a blog killer if you are trying to Google rank because you need constant content and words to rank).  I know... this blog was a victim to that for a period of time, and yes it had everything to do with life getting in the way, but I never actually meant to stop writing all together.  With all that has happened, I am more cautious about my approach to blogging. I didn't stop writing because I had writer's block or I lacked the time; I felt bullied into quitting, and I am determined to make sure that doesn't happen again.  I'll take on as many challenges as I find as long as it keeps the words flowing. 

Today's challenge is all about our favorite quotes, and personally, I freaking love quotes.  I actually have a notebook where I write down each and every quote that inspires me; those that spark memories in me, quotes from my favorite books and films, and those that make me laugh, cry, and smile. But honestly, to pick just one quote?  I couldn't possibly do that. There are so many amazing quotes out there, and I even write my own on occasion.  Instead of choosing one quote, I've narrowed down my list of quotes to just a few.  Here they are:

What would you attempt to do if you know you could not fail?

It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends. - Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, JK Rowling

Words are of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind. - Rudyard Kipling

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. - Winston Churchill

It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more. - Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, - JK Rowling

Preparation can only take you so far, after that you gotta take a few leaps of faith. - Prison Break

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. - William James

Change is the Only Constant in the Universe

I've been thinking a lot lately about my current struggles at this juncture in my freelance career. For me, I think the areas that I need to focus on are keeping balanced, staying disciplined, and being proud of the work I do every day. For those of you who may be confused about what I do; I run this blog, I freelance write, and I am in the process of writing a novel. Between those three things, I have more than a full time job working for myself. For all the time I spend on other tasks, such as marketing, blog posts, and programming - I spend three times as much on the writing. A large part of my day is writing. I daydream stories and as those stories come to life in my head, I have to get them down on paper or I am likely to forget the direction the story was taking. It can be stressful and frustrating. Books are not written in days. Writing anything is a process; a very long process, filled with moments of wanting to rip your hair out because you can't get your ideas to come out right. I have to write as fast as I think or I risk losing my place in a story. Don't get me wrong, working for myself is absolutely wonderful... it really is, that's not a lie, although the pay fluctuates because I don't have a set pay rate, and honestly, that comes with the territory of building your own business, especially when it's freelance work that you are doing. For me, it helps that I can see great statistical improvements each week, and my passive income streams are generating income, but even that is hard work. Those passive income streams require as much attention as writing does and I don't always have the time to do all the things I need to do, and with the weather acting crazy, I'm not even getting outside to take a fashion image which kind of defeats the purpose of a fashion blog. And if I was totally honest, I'm not as much into the fashion aspects of blogging as I am the writing, and I think that was the mistake I made with this blog in the first place. Fashion has its place, but Google indexes based on words not pictures. Still, I like the idea that having an image of myself attached to my words somehow gives those words more of a voice.

I also struggle beyond the building phase with a couple of things I feel relates to all this. One, I still get this feeling that people in my life think that I don't do anything because they themselves don't understand how freelance work works. Or because they think novel writing or short story writing is a pipe dream because they don't know where they would submit their work to get it published in the first place. If you are a writer, like me, you probably have accounts set up in various different writing communities and have access to multiple job boards, but the average person doesn't see that. I sometimes get the impression that everyone believes that I have all the free time in the world; that I can't be employed unless I am making a professional salary by leaving the house and going to a "real" job, and that what I am doing on-line doesn't count as work. I get the impression that maybe they think of writing and blogging as a fun hobby that I just happen to make some money off of. This really gets to me, and of course I don't know what they are actually feeling, and maybe I'm projecting those feelings onto people and they're not really feeling them at all, though I do still worry that they are. I think doing what you love and what brings you joy is always, always more important, and will always, always pay off in the end. It's worth sacrificing for, even if you struggle in the beginning, because realistically, your work gains value and so do you as you build your portfolio.

I work all day long and on weekends, too, but I think what I'm struggling with most right now is feeling proud of how my time is spent. I am constantly having to shift when I do certain tasks. Sometimes I feel pressured to do more than what I am doing when I know what actually needs to get done. I am someone who thrives off of accountability, and I am accountable to my sponsors, to those people I write for, and to myself. Even after breaking myself free of corporate chains and starting on this path to owning my own business, I still find it difficult to take myself seriously in this role as my own boss. I lack certain discipline, and even though I work all the damn time, I recognize that my actual productivity could be better. My boss - she's a pretty easygoing task-master. She doesn't crack the whip. I'm not scared of her. If I get really stressed out, she says to me, "Amy, I think the answer to your problem is an episode of Friends that turns into three and a couple of cookies and maybe some ice cream." Before I know it, there's two hours of my day gone. If you know what I mean.
 

So there are my current struggles. What I struggle with right now is being proud of what I am doing during these early writing stages before everything I have done grows legs and really takes off running and becomes legitimate in the eyes of others, not that it matters what others think. I struggle with sticking to the rules that I make for myself, and I struggle with managing my time in the most wise, productive, and profitable ways. I'm sure that working from home, being an entrepreneur, writing for a living, and making a good income while doing it seems glamorous or awesome or whatever to some, but it takes a certain amount of commitment to succeed at it. You don't just get rich the moment you decide to be a writer, or a blogger, or anything else for that matter. If you aren't willing to put in the work, you will never succeed in any type of freelance position. Writing doesn't write itself, it has to be written, and I need to make sure I stay committed to it.

What about you? What are you struggling with right now? Lay it on me!

A Woman Should Soften but not Weaken a Man

Normally I'd write something about myself, being that this is a personal blog, but I read something today, and it spoke to me.  

I found this poem inspiring and wanted to share it in case you do too: 

LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL (fear is conditional)

LOVE IS STRONG (fear is weak)

LOVE RELEASES (fear obligates)

LOVE SURRENDERS (fear binds)

LOVE IS HONEST (fear is deceitful)

LOVE TRUSTS (fear suspects)

LOVE ALLOWS (fear dictates)

LOVE GIVES (fear resists)

LOVE FORGIVES (fear blames)

LOVE IS COMPASSIONATE (fear pities)

LOVE CHOOSES (fear avoids)

LOVE IS KIND (fear is angry)

LOVE IGNITES (fear incites)

LOVE EMBRACES (fear repudiates)

LOVE CREATES (fear negates)

LOVE HEALS (fear hurts)

LOVE IS MAGIC (fear is superstitious)

LOVE ENERGIZES (fear saps)

LOVE IS AN ELIXIR (fear is a poison)

LOVE INSPIRES (fear worries)

LOVE DESIRES (fear Joneses)

LOVE IS PATIENT (fear is nervous)

LOVE IS BRAVE (fear is afraid)

LOVE IS RELAXED (fear is pressured)

LOVE IS BLIND (fear is judgmental)

LOVE RESPECTS (fear disregards)

LOVE ACCEPTS (fear rejects)

LOVE DREAMS (fear schemes)

LOVE WANTS TO PLAY (fear needs to control)

LOVE ENJOYS (fear suffers)

LOVE FREES (fear imprisons)

LOVE BELIEVES (fear deceives)

LOVE “WANTS” (fear “needs”)

LOVE versus fear: what do you feel?

Poem by: Sarah Nean Bruce

You Cannot Find Peace by Avoiding Life

This week's writing prompt is - "Ten Things That Make Me Really Happy."

So, here you go:

1) Mornings where I can sleep in. It's rare for me to get more than six hours of sleep, and lately I've been trying to push myself closer to seven.  It has been a struggle because I have programmed my body to function on minimal sleep.  The body is dependent on sleep for recovery, and while it doesn't hurt me to get less than the recommended eight hours, I wish my body would naturally relax and allow me to get more rest.

2) My cats Mozart and Daisy. My babies adore me so much so that it gets frustrating.  Mozart is a clingy little monster, and he thinks I am his bed, but he is also the first to comfort me when I get scared.  I would probably say that he is a safe place for me.  He brings to me a sense of security and normalcy.  Daisy is my little fat-o.  She needs to stop eating; she's really heavy, but solid, it's weird.  She steals Mozart's food, pushing him out of the way when I feed the two of them.  She is so afraid she is going to starve to death, and I know that has something to do with the way I found her.  While she has her fears, she is the most affection little chatterbox.  She loves getting attention, especially from men.  Both my babies share my bed with me, and they both have their spots curled up against me.

3) Going for my daily runs.  I find running to be relaxing.  Exercise in general relaxes me.  I'm a naturally active person and I enjoy movement (I'm a fidgeter), but I also enjoy the way exercise opens my mind and calms me.  It is interesting, lifting weights requires you to focus; if you lose focus, depending on your weight load, you run the risk of hurting yourself.  All the years of training have taught me how to keep my attention centered on the activity at hand.

4) Reading books.  Anyone who knows me knows I love books.  I have time constraints, so I try to allow myself the luxury of reading a book a week (I used to read a book a day, sometimes two).  I don't always achieve this goal, but I do read something every day.  Sometimes I read blog posts.  Sometimes I read news reports.  Sometimes I read up on ways to improve as a writer.  As long as I'm reading, I'm happy.

5) Seeing my friends and family. I love my family and I love my friends, and although they are scattered across the country, I still cherish the times and memories I have created with each person.  I wish I had more time to visit with the people that live closer to me.  I miss my bestest... she's in the early stages of a happy, healthy relationship that's basically a marriage, and I am in the early stages of building a business.  We both have our own things going on, and as a result, I don't get to see her near as often as I want to, but I love her to pieces.  That said, she and I need to have a meal together soon.

6) Eating good food.  By this I mean food that tastes good to me.  I don't like overpriced fancy food.  If food looks weird to me, there is a good chance I won't eat it.  I probably won't even try it.  When I take my trips to Dallas to visit my sister, she always tells me these stories about how she and Ron (my brother-in-law) first met, and about their first date.  He took her to a fine dining, overly expensive, restaurant, and when she looked at the prices on the menu, she couldn't eat anything.  She could not justify the price tag to what was being served.  She wanted to leave immediately.  It didn't matter that someone else was paying for the meal.  This is a trait my sister and I have in common.  My brother-in-law will often, in good humor, look at my sister and I and say “You Cheairs girls are the same.” because we are.  My perfect date would not involve a fancy restaurant. 

7) Creating something. I'm a storyteller/creator. I love working on new stories.  I love outlining new stories.  I love writing.  I love creating characters, and breathing life into them.  I am happiest when I'm working on a story.  Unfortunately, I have to broaden my horizons and work beyond storytelling, but, in the end, I am happiest when I am creating something that is more personal to me.

8) Traveling.  Nothing makes me happier than jumping on a plane and going in a direction opposite of where I live.  Nothing makes me happier than jumping in a car and hitting the road somewhere other than where I am right now.  I love to travel.  I love to see random things; I love to experience new cultures.

9) Pictures. I'm not the best fashion blogger out there because I don't go out and take a billion pictures of the outfit I'm wearing today.  I do love pictures, but I also love words, and I think the two go together.  For me, I love going out and taking random pictures.  I love creating memories of moments.  I love documenting my vacations.  I have a webinar coming up in two days on what it takes to be a travel writer, and one of the areas travel writing emphasizes is getting comfortable capturing pictures of the places that you see.  When writing an article or blog post, images help to draw your audience in and gives them an experience through your eyes, but words are just as important as pictures because words explain those experiences.  I love pictures because they remind me of the wonderful places I have seen.  I also love them because they remind me of the people I've shared memories with.

10) Getting a blog post done on time.

The Weather Became so Intensely Cold and Windy

1. When I was in elementary school, I sliced the thumb on my right hand bad enough that I couldn't use it or my hand because I had to wear a brace until it healed.  Since I was in school, and I had class assignments, I ended up learning how to write with my left hand.  I was ambidextrous for awhile.

2. When I was seven, I spent the summer in Texas with my grandparents.  My brother and I were playing in the desert when suddenly I was attacked, unprovoked, by a black Labrador.  The dog caught my lower lip and took me to the ground.  I have two scars on either side of my bottom lip as a result of that attack.  My grandfather was furious.  I remember sleeping in his lap, which was strange because he was a gruff, cranky man.  After that incident, he was incredibly protective of me.  He tried everything he could to make me feel better, even though there was very little he could do.

3. I love my cats, Mozart and Daisy, but I'm allergic to them.  When I found my kitties, my intention was to get them healthy; I took them both to the vet immediately after finding them, afterwards I had planned to find them good homes.  I found Mozart at two weeks old and on the verge of death. After nursing him back to health, he had already become attached to me and I had become attached to him; I couldn't fathom giving him away.  I found Daisy in the middle of a busy street in a burlap sack.  When I got her home and saw how she and Mozart interacted together, I couldn't justify separating them.  I take allergy medicine every day so that I can keep them.

4. I loved cartoons growing up, and I loved coloring books, but the coloring books never had the images from the television and those were the images I wanted to color.  One day, after a large amount of contemplation intermixed with trial and error, I figured out how to get the images off the television screen and turn them into coloring pages.  Later on, my father told me I was essentially creating animation cells.  For awhile, I wanted to be an Animator.

5. When I was little, like most girls, I loved Barbie.  I loved dressing her up, and while I can never claim to be a great seamstress, I used to take old torn up clothes and use the material to sew her dresses.  Barbie is responsible for my love of fashion.

6. On that note, I own a sewing machine, it was a Christmas present from my father, that I never learned how to use.  My intention was to learn how to make my own clothes.  I was inspired by my grandmother who was always sewing when I would visit her, and my aunt who still sews, but life got in my way and I never had the chance to learn how to use it.  It is a goal of mine to take classes and learn to make myself a dress with that machine.

7. I rarely reveal personal details about myself in a conversation unless explicitly asked.

8. When I fall in love with a song, I’ll listen to it on repeat until I get sick of it.  It takes awhile for me to get sick of a song.

9. In high school, I used to sell blow pops in class.  My father would go to Sam's Club and he would buy me several boxes on each visit.  I would take a box to school, and in the middle of class you could find me selling candy.  The teachers never seemed to mind.  I made quite a bit of money, and the best part, my father paid for the candy and let me keep what I earned from selling it.  That is probably where my desire to run my own business stems from.

Never Surrender Your Dream to Your Challenges

What does it mean to be balanced?

I feel balanced when I have a handle on the various different elements in my life and I don’t feel that my heart or mind are being pulled too hard in any direction. More often than not, I feel calm, grounded, clear-headed, and motivated.  Here are some things I do for myself to help create balance.

1. I savor something small every day. I give myself permission to indulge in something I enjoy every day.  I allow myself the pleasure of enjoying the little moments without multitasking, without checking my email, or cleaning up the house.  I allow myself some me time.  Savoring these small, everyday experiences makes my day a lot happier.

2. I make tiny bits of progress every day. While I know the big picture is incredibly important to my future, I allow myself to forget the big goals for a moment, and instead I focus my attention on a single goal I want to achieve.  I commit myself to making a tiny bit of progress every day. Research shows this is the best way to actually achieve your goals.

3. I make it a point to be a little kinder to myself. In general, we are our harshest critics. We defeat ourselves with negative self talk.  How many times have you compared yourself to someone else, measured their success against your own, and then berated yourself for not measuring up. Whenever negative thoughts creep into my head, I ask myself, would you talk like this to a friend? If the answer is no, then I drop the thought. I make it a point to treat myself with the same kindness and compassion I give to those I love.

4. I give myself permission to have a bad day. We all have good days and we all have bad days, that is life. Personally, I am a person that tries to fix things because I don't like feeling bad, so when something goes wrong my automatic instinct is to try and make it right, but some bad days can't be made better.  It's life, and sometimes things spiral out of control and everything just goes wrong. It happens, your bad day catches up to you, and you’re probably feeling rotten because nothing is going your way. In moments like these, you just have to let it happen, and accept that the day is not going to get any better. You can't fight it, and there is no point in trying. When this happens to me, I give myself permission to have a bad day. I know on days like these that I am not going to get a lot accomplished. I accept that I don't have what is necessary at that time to make things better right away, and well, if the best thing I can do is go curl up in bed and just wait for the day to end, then that is awesome.

5. Sometimes I do less. I have plenty of big home projects that I am planning, but I've also been putting them off because I don't have the time to accomplish them, and that weighs on me.  For now, I consider that certain projects are just not something I can do right now. It doesn't mean that I won't get to them, but I have to budget my time wisely in these early stages of my new career. If I'm not working then I'm not making money, and I have to support myself.  Doing less than what I'd like to be doing doesn’t make me lazy, it makes me a better caretaker of me.

6. I need to move a little slower. Sometimes, I feel like I'm hurrying through life instead of living it, and I know that that is partly because I haven't taken much time off. When I quit my job, I knew I was committing to what I am doing now, freelance work. I am grateful for the opportunities that I have found on-line, but I need to find a balance.  There needs to be a day, at least once a week, when I move slower. Instead of my usual early morning ritual of going on-line to check emails and get started with writing assignments, I could take an early morning walk followed by a crazy-paced getting ready for work routine. I could wake up a little later, take a slower paced walk, and then actually sit down for breakfast without checking my email.

7. I need to keep a what “I’ve done list”. I focus a great deal on what needs to get done.  Instead of always focusing on what I need to do, I need to start taking the time to appreciate what I have accomplished. I understand that growth is essential, and when you are talking in terms of money, focus is imperative to success.  I constantly generate an income every day on-line and that has everything to due with past accomplishments.  Sometimes I forget that I have already taken plenty of steps that contributed towards my growth and progress.  I need to start giving myself some credit.  I need to take a moment to pause, reflect, and really appreciate what I’ve done, what I've learned, and what I've experienced as I continue to move through the year.